A Christmas Story review

HHHEEELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO, UNIVERSE! Just recently hit 1,000 views thanks to you! I don’t know if it was an accident (that’s what she said) or not, but I hope this trend continues. Hope all of y’all are doing wonderful on… CHRISTMAS! That’s right. Happy Christmas to all my folks out there! Spend quality time with those you love since not everyone has the chance to.

That’s me, of course, with my delicious six pack

                                   

Since it’s Christmas and all, why not make this a special one? To keep up with the holiday theme, I’m going to write a non-traditional review of a movie I’m sure you’ve all seen a MILLION TIMES like I have. It might not even come out as a review. AT ALL. As if it hasn’t been flooding TBS or any other family channel… you think you have it figured out?

DUN… DUN… DUN…

I can’t express enough how much I have seen this movie over the past five or so years. Every December, I catch this on television and it’s still as good as ever. Even after I have seen it during the day/night, I could catch it another time and sit through it again. It’s definitely one of my favorite films. OF ALL TIME.

Enough with my jibba jabba and onto the goodies!

What’s the deal: One word. Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action-Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle. Ok, maybe that wasn’t EXACTLY one word but if you say it as diligently and ecstatic as our protagonist, Ralphie, you would’ve thought that was one word. Every kid’s dream is to receive that ONE, ideal special toy that tops any other presents they get. The same toy they sought for and would go at any costs in obtaining it. Ralphie, a nine-year-old boy from parents of two, is set on persuasion from his parents, to his middle school teacher, and even to a mall Santa Claus that this BB gun is the ideal and perfect gift for him. It’s the only thing he wants.

Somebody, please do this and tell me if it’s true

           

Get to the point: Of course, nobody says this was going to be easy for little Ralphie. Deception is Ralphie’s best friend. Even though he clearly expresses that he wants this toy, Ralphie is challenged with obstacles in trying to gets others to see that this is what he really wants. Nobody wants a football, and anything that’ll “shoot your eye out” is ok with Ralphie.

When Ralphie tells his mother that he wants the BB gun for Christmas, she proclaims: “No, you’ll shoot your eye out.” When Ralphie is in school and his teacher gives the students a theme to write about what they want for Christmas, Ralphie jumps all over it and writes about his desire for the Red Ryder BB gun. Sweetening up to his teacher with a fruit basket in hopes that she’ll give him an A++++++ and agreeing that this is what he should get, Ralphie wants her to think it’s ok to receive this gift. Albeit getting a C+, his teacher also doesn’t approve of getting a dangerous toy and writes on the bottom of his essay: “P.S. You’ll shoot your eye out!”

A recurring theme?

You’ll need to think twice about that.

Not a lamp; it’s a MAJOR AWARD

                                              

Later, Ralphie and his family visit Santa Claus at a mall and Ralphie asks for the Red Ryder BB gun to which Mr. Claus replies: “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid. Merry Christmas!” and receives a push, down a slide on his face, with his big ol’ boot.

“I want a rifle. :D”  “NO.” FAIL

                                             

When it comes down to the actual Christmas day, Ralphie and his brother frantically open their presents. Wrappings, and wrappings, and wrappings of paper later, Ralphie has not opened one gift containing the BB gun. With all hope seemingly down the drain, Ralphie is assured to have gone through yet another disappointing Christmas. Maybe next Christmas. That is until Ralphie’s eccentric dad tells Ralphie to look in the corner of the desk, hinting that Santa Claus left one more gift. An unsure, but eager Ralphie rips through the wrapping paper to unveil the very gift he had been longing for.

A kid’s dream has been fulfilled.

Dreams do come true if you believe

                                   

With the family celebrating one of America’s most beloved holidays, the film ends on a high note symbolizing togetherness, comfort, and surprise.

Worth watching?: A. B. S. O. L. U. T. E. L. Y. There is everything to love about a feel- good family flick that inspires families to come together. The voiceover narration is a brilliant technique that, incredibly, is not seen too often nowadays. The pacing of the film is on point and it transitions smoothly in narration. The acting is top notch as every character has a defined role. Execution is what makes this movie outstanding.

Remember, everyone, be sure to drink your ovaltine; never use the “F-dash-dash-dash” word, and have a safe Christmas and New Years!

I leave you with a parting gift:

Thoughts on the Boston Celtics 12/19/10

What’s happening, y’all? Hope everyone’s well. Back again for like the 11^th time? I need to get into a habit and post more often but things just don’t work out that way! I run a reckless schedule and it doesn’t seem to benefit me in any way. But, what’s the fun in that if everything goes well? NOTHING!

I’m in dire need of a change. I feel like my blog is kind of plain and it could definitely use an upgrade. I should work on it a little more, don’t you think? I also think if I’m going to write reviews/thoughts on whatever subject, I should make some sort of “catchy” motto or something. You would like that, right? RIGHT? Maybe a banner or something flashy would do. If anyone is good with HTML out there and wouldn’t mind helping, holler at your boy! For serious!

Anyways…

Now that that’s out the way, it’s time to give some thoughts on the Boston Celtics. Which leads me to?

YOWWWWWWZER!

10 Thoughts

1)   The guys in green are arguably the hottest team in the NBA right now. Aside from the Miami Heat who are also scorching with a 12-game win streak and finally finding team chemistry, the C’s stand at 21-4 after 25 games; are at a 12-game winning streak of their own, and doing so with the team UNHEALTHY. Delonte West is out indefinitely with a broken wrist; Kendrick Perkins isn’t due back until January/February; Rajon Rondo will miss about a week or two with a sprained ankle and stingy hamstring; Shaquille O’Neal hasn’t played in over a week but may be coming back soon; and Jermaine O’Neal hasn’t played in about a month. I can’t stress this enough but IF and WHEN the Celtics are all healthy come playoff time, this will be one scary team.

2)  With all the bigs that are injured right now, how great has Semih Erden been playing the past couple of games? The more I watch this man play, the more I love him and his game. He has filled in admirably and is playing some important minutes. The best thing about him? HE ISN’T TOTALLY HEALTHY, EITHER! He’s wearing that scrubby, one-sleeved t-shirt that we see most college players wear. The man’s shoulder isn’t in the best condition, but he’s grinding it out. He’s got soft hands and has great vision when catching the ball. He’s really important to the team right now and losing him in any way would be catastrophic. It’s impressive how he’s adapting to the NBA when he can’t speak a lick of English. Kudos to you, Mr. Erden.

Showing ‘em who’s boss

                                  

3)    Another man who has been stepping up BIG is Glen “Big Belly” Davis (as I like to call him). Too bad the league doesn’t categorize taking “charges” as a major statistic because we all know he’s leading it. “Big Baby” is growing up before our eyes and is making a strong case to become the 6^th man of the year.

4)  

5)   With Rajon Rondo out for at least a week, I would like to see Avery Bradley play some serious minutes when subbing for Nate Robinson. I know Doc Rivers is probably hesitant to play Bradley because he’s unproven and rightfully so. I read that he’s more of a combo guard than anything; he’s got an ok jump shot and plays terrific defense. Now would be a good time to incorporate some of his skills and see what this kid really has to offer.

6)   Going back to Rondo, I hope the C’s don’t rush him back. Let him take the necessary time to fully recover. The last thing the Celtics need is for him to come back prematurely and reinjure himself and BUDDHA FORBID it being a serious one. Paul Pierce will probably be being playing more of a point-forward going on. It’s not worth it for Rondo to come back short term and then lose him to another injury LONG TERM. He’s key on the Celtics getting back to the Finals. As Charles Barkley said about Rondo: “He is the engine that stirs the drink.” LULZ.

Or did you mean, “He is the straw that stirs the engine”?

           

7)    So their win streak is at 12 right now. Is it crazy that I think they can get it to 20? I mean look at their upcoming schedule. They’re playing Indiana, Philadelphia, Orlando (who just had a trade with Phoenix/Washington), Indiana (again), Detroit, New Orleans, Toronto, and then Minnesota. These are eight winnable games that they SHOULD win. Then again, we all know what happened there… *OKC and TORONTO*

8)    How ironic is it that the “Big Three” are seemingly the healthiest out of the whole team? Whodathunkit? Who said age matters! In all seriousness, I hope they stay that way. HOPE.

9)    Luke Harangody is basically the Brian Scalabrine of today. Why must they always pick on the white guy! At least this time he’s just white and not a ginger because we all know they don’t have souls. Kidding. Or am I?

10)   MARQUIS DANIELS. ENOUGH SAID. #beleedat.

Have a wonderful day!