2011 Boston Red Sox season review (90-72)

What a heartbreaking end to a heartbreaking season. :(  Weird that I slept just fine. No postseason = no more making way to watch games anymore. I love it but I hate it.

Ok, so in the beginning of the season, I made some predictions of what I expected in the season. Let’s take a trip down memory lane and see how many I got right!

***TEXTS HIGHLIGHTED IN RED WERE PREDICTIONS***

***TEXTS IN WHITE ARE WHAT I THINK NOW***

1)           

This is what I thought the lineup would look like. But, this was months ago when the Red Sox acquired Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford.

This is probably more likely of what their projected lineup is going to be. I think you could switch Crawford/Gonzalez around.

--- HA! My projected lineup was wrong in so many levels. I thought Carl Crawford was going to leadoff for most of the season because of his almighty OBP. Abysmal first year in a Red Sox uniform for Crawford (.255 AVG/ 11 HR/ 56 RBI). Total underachiever. Dustin Pedroia = right. Adrian Gonzalez = right. Kevin Youkilis = right (until he got injured). David Ortiz = right. J.D. Drew = somewhat right (until he got injured). Marco Scutaro = wrong (moved everywhere in the lineup). Jarrod Saltalamacchia = somewhat right. Jacoby Ellsbury = WRONG.

2)   2)    In a perfect world, I expect AT LEAST 4/5 of the starting pitchers to win 15 games or more.

--- Well, I certainly got this WRONG. Only one starter got to 15 wins and that was Jon Lester. Josh Beckett had 13 wins and was certainly on pace but was sidetracked during the season. John Lackey, OH MY GOD, where do I begin. Do I even need to begin? They need to get rid of this cancer IMMEDIATELY. Typing in CAPS certainly helps me get my points across. Clay Buchholz injured for most of the season. Daisuke Matsuzaka gone for the entire season. OHHHHHHH.

Jon Lester has been pretty consistent the past three years with 16/15/19 wins. He’s a strikeout machine. It’s a lock that he should continue that success.

--- Continued success I got right. Stumbled here and there on starts but is reliable when needed. Here’s to more continued success.

Hopefully, John Lackey rebounds from last year and show that his first year in the A.L. East was an adjustment. If he can duplicate his success in 2007 where he had 19 wins, the Red Sox should be sitting high.

--- Yeah, right. What in the world was I thinking saying Lackey would bounce back after a year. He did EVEN WORSE than last year. 6.41 ERA!!!!!!!!!!

Clay Buchholz showed everyone last year the kind of potential and promise they were expecting of him. All he needed was a chance and a full season under his belt and look what happened. 17-7 with a 2.33 ERA.

--- Well, he got a sure spot on the rotation this year and it looked like he was going to continue that success from last year until the INJURY BUG struck.

Josh Beckett is probably the biggest story (as far as pitchers go) within the rotation. Everyone projects him as a dominating pitcher and an “ace.” Putting him as the fourth starter will hopefully motivate him into pitching well and proving that he deserves to be higher within the rotation. Getting beaned in the head and inconsistent pitching during Spring Training isn’t helping him going into the season. Hopefully that changes.

--- He did take back that “ace” role and was counted on to stop the bleeding when the Red Sox were hitting a funk. (13-7 [OK]) with a 2.89 ERA until the INJURY BUG struck.

And finally, we have Daisuke Matsuzaka. He’s the wildcard in all this. If he can even remotely duplicate his 2008 season where he somehow went 18-3 (despite always loading the bases and somehow getting away with no runs), then this will fully round the rotation.

--- Yeah, right. What in the world was I thinking here?

Realistically, I think only 3/5 will get it done (Lester, Buchholz, and Beckett). I hope I’m wrong, though.

--- ALMOST! (Not really)

3)     Over or under? Adrian Gonzalez will finish the season with a .300 AVG/ 38 HR/ 132

RBI.

--- Finished the season with a .338 AVG so I got that right. 27 HRs so I got that wrong. 117 RBIs so I got that wrong. Still a great season for Gonzalez, though. Cooled off a lot in September but should still be mentioned for MVP voting.

Carl Crawford will have 61 stolen bases (one more than his ’09 season where he had 60).

--- 18 stolen bases in 2011. WOW was I off or what? Out of touch.

4)     Jed Lowrie will have better statistics over Marco Scutaro despite being on the  

      BENCH.

--- Nope, WRONG again. Complete opposite. Jed Lowrie (INJURY BUG) = 88 games, .252 AVG/ 6 HR/ 36 RBI. OPS = .685. Marco Scutaro = 113 games, .299 AVG/ 7 HR/ 54 RBI. OPS = .781. Surely they must be thinking of picking up Scutaro’s option for next year. Who else is out there?

5)     Hideki Okajima will find a way back into the team. They need some lefty relievers.

    

      --- The artist formerly known as “OKI-DOKI” appeared in only 7 games, boasting a  

      1-0, 4.32 ERA before he was given the pink slip. How Matt Albers made it to the 

      team is something I would love to know.

6)     Red Sox WILL win 100 games this year and the A.L. East title.

      --- They most certainly COULD’VE and SHOULD’VE. If only they won the games

      that they SHOULD’VE and didn’t blow the whole month of September.

7)     Kevin Youkilis will be a serious contender to win the A.L. MVP award.

      --- I still believed this until the INJURY BUG struck. The Big Three of Ellsbury,

      Gonzalez, and Pedroia are most definitely going to be in the talks for MVP. Ellsbury  

      is above Gonzalez and Pedroia, in my opinion. Gonzalez over Pedroia.

8)     Tim Wakefield will find a way back into the rotation. He always does. Can’t put that 

      68 MPH fastball in the dumps!

--- Oh, he certainly found his way into the rotation (thanks to Buchholz/Dice-K). Sucks that they were so inclined to give Wakefield so many shots at win #200 when in actually, it costed them big time. Those starts he had should’ve belonged to a machine named ALFREDO ACEVES (give the man a raise!!!!)

9)     This will be Daniel Bard’s year to shine to show he’s the future closer which means

       bye bye Jonathan Papelbon.

--- “Daniel Bard’s year to shine to show he’s the future closer…” until the month of September came. OOPS. Jonathan Papelbon bounced back into a dominant year until the very last game. We all know what happened there. :(

10)   ’04 + ’07 = ’11 World Series Champs. Destiny? I think so. But you, you already

        KNOW that!

        --- :(     :(     :(

***BONUS**** 10 Thoughts heading into next season for 2012 (more questions than thoughts)

1)   1)   It’s expected (at least I think) that Beckett and Lester will likely be the 1+2 starters, but who goes after? If Buchholz is ready, you would think he’d be the 3^rd. JOHN LACKEY? I’d hate to think. They seriously need to find all possibilities to get rid of this guy. But who would want that atrocious contract that he has? No one. Dice-K is already a flop they should shop him around. Wakefield? Bring him back but LEAVE HIM IN THE BULLPEN.

2)   Is this the last we’ve seen of David Ortiz, Jason Varitek, Tim Wakefield, J.D. Drew, Jacoby Ellsbury, Marco Scutaro, and Jonathan Papelbon? Ortiz is someone who I would think would have the best shot at coming back. He has produced (.309 AVG/ 29 HR/ 96 RBI). 50/50 with Varitek. Do they consider the tandem of Saltalamacchia/Lavarnway heading forward? What about Wakefield? The senior citizen should come back only if he were to stay in the bullpen. J.D. Drew? Likely retiring. Jacoby Ellsbury I would think would like to stay (GIVE HIM CRAWFORD’S CONTRACT!). Marco Scutaro I would think would get his option picked up. Jonathan Papelbon? Likely to test free agency but who knows what will happen with him.

3)   A L F R E D O   A C E V E S ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

4)   Who stays or gets fired? Terry Francona? Theo Epstein? Both? None?

5)   Who’s going to man right field? Josh Reddick showed promise but sizzled during the stretch. RYAN KALISH? Hope he comes back. I was really hoping that the Red Sox would get HUNTER PENCE but NOOOOOO, they didn’t make a deal for him in July. Missed chance.

6)   People are already calling Carl Crawford a bust. This season? YES. I’d give him a chance to bounce back next year. Prove me wrong, Carl.

7)   Must… revamp… bullpen.

8)   Letting Victor Martinez walk was the stupidest thing they could’ve done.

9)   What happens to Erik St. Bedard?

10)                   This is going to be a loooooonnnnnnngggggg winter.

BoSox Shenanigans (69-43)

10 Thoughts










1) So in the beginning of the season, our starting rotation went: Jon Lester, John Lackey (WHAT?), Clay Buchholz, Josh Beckett, and Daisuke Matsuzaka.

Jon Lester is having a typical Lester year (11-5, 3.23 ERA). The best thing about Lester is that he’s consistent with his starts. Sure, every starter has that one bad outing. But, Lester defies that notion because he’s always able to go 6+ innings when he’s pitching.

John Lackey (WHAT?) is having a much-troubled second year. He’s currently 10-8 with a 6.14 ERA. 6.14 ERA! This was the same guy advertised who we thought could be a bonafide 2-3 starter? Doesn’t look like the “ace” we saw when he was with the Los Angeles Angels!

Josh Beckett is proving that he didn’t deserve to be starting 4th in the year. He has bounced back tremendously and is starting to look like the Beckett of old (circa ’07, ’09). He has rightfully claimed back that “ace” status. Respectful 9-4 with a 2.20 ERA.

Daisuke Matsuzaka. GONE. Nothing else needs to be said. His season was lost due to needing Tommy John surgery. This signing is looking to be a really big bust. Still can’t believe he went 18-3 with a 2.90 ERA in 2008!

Clay Buchholz, in my opinion, was the X-factor into helping the team into the postseason. It looks like his season might be over with a lower back strain, although they say it’s not totally for sure. He was 6-3 with a 3.48 ERA before he went down. He certainly was on pace to win 15+ games had it not been for the injury. If he is indeed gone for the year, I WISH WE STILL HAD JUSTIN MASTERSON!

Can’t forget about the spot starters: Tim Wakefield (especially), Alfredo Aceves (especially and very valuable), Andrew Miller, and Kyle Weiland. These guys deserve a lot of credit for still leading the Red Sox into having one of the best records in the Majors.




2) I like the situation between Jarson Varitamacchia #3933 (Varitek/Saltalamacchia). Granted, it probably would’ve benefitted Salty more if he played more, but at this point, it’s good to split the loads between the two catchers. Beckett obviously loves/is more comfortable when ‘Tek is catching him; plus Varitek is good in handling with other (new) pitchers. Salty is a great offensive punch and throws out more base stealers. Hopefully when Varitek’s time is up, Salty will pick up the knowledge and understandings of the pitchers and continue his success at the plate.




3) J.D. Drew will have spent five years as a Red Sock and still no one knows a single thing about him. Much like my four years at Suffolk University. Lulz.

TROT NIXON, The REAL #7

4) Tim Wakefield will definitely pick up his 200th win as a pitcher by the end of the year. That’s an incredible accomplishment and I hope he gets it when it’s in Fenway Park. It will definitely be very emotional.





5) Jonathan Papelbon, like Josh Beckett, is having a bounce-back year. Although his ERA (3.35) is slightly higher than previous years, he’s becoming that instant “shut-out games” when he closes (circa ’06-’09). Honorable mention has to go to Daniel Bard who is showing how superb he is and potentially be our closer of the future. It’s going to be a tough offseason for management in deciding who’s going to close out games in the future. Papelbon is making his case that he is still dominant.





6) Can the Red Sox PLEASE somehow get rid of John Lackey, Bobby Jenks, and Dice-K? In a perfect world where we can easily do something, I’d happily trade all three of them for a kiwi smoothie.

7) Kevin Youkilis, in my opinion, is a better first baseman than third. I’m just saying. I miss Mike Lowell.





8) What was Dustin Pedroia hitting in May? Like .220? Look where he is now, he’s hitting .310. Don’t doubt the scrapper. In 2007, he was hitting like, what, .180? Oh yeah, he went on to ending the ’07 season hitting .317. Amazing.





9) Jacoby Ellsbury is having a MVP type season. He sure as heck is hitting like it and deserves serious consideration. 111 games played; hitting .321, 19 HR, 72 RBI, and an OPS of .899. He’s only stolen 31 bases and has been walked 38 times. Major switch-off in his game and approach. This after coming off a major injury last year. He deserves the contract Carl Crawford has and he certainly looks like the $142 million man. This isn’t even to knock on Crawford because I like him. He’s having an OFF season as opposed to what we’re used to seeing him (when he was with the Tampa Bay Rays). His numbers are down in practically EVERY major category. Hopefully he bounces back next year with one year under his belt as a Red Sock. I have faith in him that he will.

And people dare called him "SOFT"

10) The Adrian Gonzalez trade and signing is looking to be the best thing EVER. I don’t even need to speak of what he has done and meant for the team. He’s currently leading the Majors in AVG (.352), RBI (91), Hits (159), TB (253), and 2nd in XBH (55). All this and there’s still 70 games left to be played!









RED SOX vs. PHILLIES WORLD SERIES CAN’T COME SOON ENOUGH!

2011 MLB Home Run Derby/All-Star Game

10 Thoughts

1) I like the idea of changing the derby to AL vs. NL. It definitely makes it more team oriented. The goal is still the same; they play for charities.

2) THE LEGEND OF SAM FULD.

3) Although it hurts me to say this, in my opinion, Robinson Cano is THE best second baseman in the game today. He absolutely KILLED the balls distance wise. The only Yankees players that I actually “like” are Cano, Derek Jeter, and Mariano Rivera. That’s saying a lot. :(

4) Why are the NL players wearing ugly looking cleats! There should only be two colors when wearing any sports shoes: BLACK and WHITE! Any other color makes it look like it came from Space Jams! Especially the bright colors!

5) Who is Rickie Weeks? Seriously, I didn’t know who he was until the Red Sox played the Milwaukee Brewers during Interleague. I forgot about him after that. When he came to bat, I thought, “WHO?” He should’ve stayed that way. Forgotten. Didn’t belong in the derby.

6) Matt Kemp. He dated Rihanna. Not anymore. That’s about as much as I know about him, too. Anybody who dates Rihanna after Chris Brown is just EWWWWWWWWWWW sloppy moppy!

YES RUDE GIRL, GIRL, I CAN GET IT UP

7) Prince Fielder. POWER. Enough said.

8) Adrian Gonzalez’ swing is like Ray Allen’s shooting… silky smooth.

9) I predicted it was going to be Jose Bautista/Prince Fielder in the finals… WRONG!

10) Actual finals: Adrian Gonzalez/Robinson Cano. REALLY good finals. Cano wins and I cry. WAH WAH WAH. Good show. AL runs supreme over NL once again!

10 Thoughts

1)   There are SO many injured players who made the All-Star game but didn’t play. The only thing that I was happy about was Jeter/A-Rod/and Mo weren’t going to play. Those damn Yankees!

2)   “From the Seattle Mariners, Felix Hernandez.” *Camera on Miguel Cabrera* OOPS!

3) Adrian Gonzalez was the only player to have done anything in the game.

4) There are so many faces that I have never seen before!

5)  Brian Wilson is a weird guy…

6)  Rickie Weeks? WHO?

7)  The game felt different because so many key All-Star’s were injured/didn’t get voted. (Pujols, Braun, Hanley Ramirez, Wright, Ichiro, Mauer, Morneau, Pedroia)

8) Heath Bell sprinting out of the bullpen and sliding to the mound was the most epic thing I’ve ever seen from a pitcher!

9) That Pittsburgh Pirates’ pitcher (Joel Hanrahan) looks eerily like… *shudders*… Eric… Gagne…

10)  Had all the aces from the AL played and weren’t injured/already pitched  (Verlander, Sabathia, Hernandez, Beckett, Lester, Price, Shields), it would’ve had a different outcome. Definitely wouldn’t have been 5-1.

#IMAPAULHEYMANGUY

2011 NBA Playoffs: Celtics/Heat Thoughts

10 Thoughts

1)     Much like the Celtics/Knicks’ point guard matchup (before Chauncey Billups went down), this position MUST be exploited. Whoever the Heat decide to throw against Rajon Rondo, whether it’s Mike Bibby or Mario Chalmers, this should be a clear advantage for the Celtics. If the “Big Threes” for both teams cancel each other out, the clear X-factor will be with the point guards. If Rondo plays the way he did against the Knicks, the outcome will be pretty visible.

No caption needed

2)     Shaq’s availability. Will he play in Game 1? Game 2? At ALL? Only time will tell how he’s feeling. The C’s could absolutely use his presence in the paint. It’s going to be hard to rely on the combo of J. O’Neal/Davis/Krstic. The more big men we have, the better our chances will be. Turnovers and rebounds (which the C’s have been pretty bad on) will play a key factor in how this series will turn out.

3)     Can Paul Pierce and Ray Allen continue their torrid shooting percentages? In the entire 1^st round series – Ray Allen: 31-54 (57% shooting) and a ridiculous 17-26 (65%) from three-point land. Paul Pierce: 33-71 (46%) and 10-20 (50%) from beyond the arc. History shows that Ray Allen will come back down to planet Earth after shooting at a ridiculous clip (see Game 3 of last year’s NBA Finals). Hopefully he will do whatever is necessary to keep that fire going.

4)     Bench players MUST play a vital role. Last series didn’t go so well for Jeff Green/Glen Davis/Nenad Krstic/Delonte West. With enough practice time to get everyone clicking, it’s a no-brainer that these guys will dictate how long this series will play out. It doesn’t matter who steps up; as long as there is consistent contribution, they should be fine.

5)     Troy Murphy: +1 rebound in his playoff career. And that’s all she wrote.

Rebound nose first

6)     Yeah, it’s going to come down to the players executing plays. But, I think this is where we will see how well each coach really is. Erik Spoelstra is not even in the same league as Doc Rivers in terms of managing minutes with his players and drawing up correct plays during timeouts.

7)     If it becomes close during any of the games, who gets the last shot for the Heat? I don’t think they truly figured out who will take that one last shot for all the marbles. LeBron James? Arguably their best scorer. But, isn’t this Dwyane Wade’s team? With the Celtics, any of the “Big Four” is a possibility depending on the situation. That’s the beauty of it.

8)     Random observation: Celtics’ “Big Three” have Allen (2), Pierce (3), Garnett (4). Heat’s “Big Three” have Wade (2), James (3), Bosh (4). Both shooting guards wear arm sleeves; both shooting forwards wear headbands and occasionally arm sleeves; both power forwards are listed at 6’11”. WHY DO I KNOW THESE THINGS?! Is it safe to say the Heat’s “Big Three” are nothing but carbon copies of these veterans except in their primes?

9)     Players from the Celtics think that Chris Bosh will be the X-factor for the Heat. Against Kevin Garnett? Hard to believe that. Kevin Garnett is a carnivore. Chris Bosh is a herbivore.

Boshasaurus

10)    Boston Celtics in 6.

2011 NBA Playoffs: Celtics/Knicks Thoughts

10 Thoughts

1)     I don’t care what anyone says, Rajon Rondo is the catalyst to the Celtics’ team success. Everything begins with him. If he doesn’t initiate the offense and/or draw the opposing team’s defense by either penetrating the paint or giving the ball at the right time/spot to other players, then it’s going to be a long series. We need the Rondo that started off the season with an average of 16.7 assists in the first three games. If we get the inconsistent/slumping Rondo, I don’t know, put the damn headband back on or something! Get your mojo back somehow!

2)     Shaquille O’Neal is not going to play in Game 1. Here’s what I’m hoping: IF, and a BIG IF, the Celtics can somehow not get forced into a Game 7 and can prolong Shaquille O’Neal’s return later down the line, I’d be all for it. The Knicks’ center position does not scare me at all. If the guy is not healthy enough to play, I see no reason to play him at all.

3)     Big chance to see if the bench players will step their games up and incorporate whatever they’ve learned since the deadline. Managing minutes for the starters are going to be crucial.

4)     Honestly, I think the Celtics can sweep the Knicks in 4. Realistically, it might go 5.

5)     People might be talking more about the Pierce/Anthony and/or Garnett/Stoudemire matchups, but I’m more interested in the Rondo/Billups matchup than anything.

6)     I hope we see more moments like this in Madison Square Garden:

PRICELESS

7)     Has Troy Murphy done ANYTHING ever since he came here?

8)     Can we expect more M.V.P. type numbers from Sasha Pavlovic? (If he makes it into the playoff team, of course) (19 points, 7-10 of shooting; 4-5 from beyond the arc, 2 rebounds, 1 steal)

9)     I hate when they keep saying “Flip The Switch,” it brings me awful nightmares when the C’s once had a player of this magnitude:

But… but… the BALL DON’T LIE!

10)  If the Celtics don’t get out of the first round (BUDDHA FORBID), then it was because of the whole Kendrick Perkins trade and the destruction of the old bench. End of story.

WrestleMania XXVII review/recap

FINALLY… DQ… HAS COME BACK… TO HIS BLOG! So I finally finished watching WrestleMania 27 and I wanted to give my thoughts on it. It only took about a week or so for me to finish watching it. I actually stopped around certain points because it’s hard for me to sit down for four hours straight watching something. Nonetheless, I got through it!

On a quick note: Edge has officially retired as an active in-ring performer. I’ve been watching professional wrestling (OOPS!) entertainment ever since I was about 10-years-old. So it’s like I’ve watched these guys grow as a person and a performer throughout the years. Stuff like this makes you really appreciate what these men/women give on a daily basis. They’re on the road nonstop to entertain people all around the world. It’s great that he is calling it a career because if not, like he said, he could’ve ended up in a wheelchair for life.

Enough babbles…

Hosted by: The Great One aka The Brahma Bull aka The Most Electrifying Man in All of Entertainment aka The People’s Champ aka THE ROCK.

-         I did my Pretty Girl Rock when Keri Hilson sang “America, The Beautiful.” Whatever that means…

***The Rock comes out and does his usual YABBA DABBA routine to get the crowd pumped for WrestleMania.

                                World Heavyweight Championship Match

                   Edge (c) w/ Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio w/ Brodus Clay

-         What we all didn’t know was that this was going to be Edge’s final match in his career. There wasn’t a career ending stipulation in this match so don’t get any wrong ideas. It was a regular title match. Both competitors had someone of relevance with Edge having his best friend Christian in his corner and Alberto Del Rio having his NXT rookie.

Del Rio works on Edge’s left arm to show some in-ring psychology. Both Christian and Brodus Clay make their presence known and try to help respective guys. At one point, Del Rio is able to hook onto his cross-armbar but Edge is able to reach the ropes. After some scrambling, Edge locks on his inverted Sharpshooter but Del Rio is able to counter, which leads to Edge hitting his Spear for the 1-2-3. Great start that got about 15-17 minutes of action.

WINNER and STILL champion: EDGE

***Extracurricular activity by Edge and Christian as they smash up Del Rio’s fancy shmancy car.

                                Rey Mysterio vs. “Undashing” Cody Rhodes

-         Rey Mysterio comes out to an altered Captain America wardrobe. Two years ago, he came out as The Joker. Last year, he came out as an Avatar Na’vi. This year, he’s Captain America… or Mysterio since there was an “M” instead of an “A” on his mask. I see a trend here. I definitely know what he did there. The only thing he was missing was the shield. HOW DO YOU FORGET ABOUT THE SHIELD!

-         “Undashing” Cody Rhodes is wearing his fugly mask since Mysterio made him fugly for the time being. I like the darker side of Cody Rhodes. I also liked the “Dashing” gimmick he was doing before Mysterio “disfigured” his face. It’s a progression in character for young Mr. Rhodes. Gives him an edgy feeling.

-         There was a cool spot where Rhodes had Mysterio on the top rope and Rhodes was giving him a prolonged superplex, showing off his strength. But, I’m thinking anyone could’ve done that to Mysterio since he only weighs a fraction of what these other guys weigh.

-         Back and forth action and at one point, Rhodes’ mask comes off and I’m guessing it’s legal to use in this match without disqualification? How did they figure that? Mysterio puts on Rhodes’ mask and uses it as a weapon. Mysterio’s knee brace was taken off by Rhodes and he ends up using it to clunk Mysterio on the head. Rhodes hits the Cross-Rhodes and gets the pinfall on Mysterio.

WINNER: “UNDASHING” CODY RHODES

***Backstage skit with Snoop Dogg and Teddy Long where they’re doing BUDDHA KNOWS WHAT since I wasn’t paying attention to that nonsense. I liked Zack Ryder singing Rebecca Black’s “Friday” song. That song is terrible. I mean TERRIBLE. The only good thing to come out of that song is this…

          The Corre vs. Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Big Show, and Kane

***Vladimir Kozlov was taken out by The Corre during one of the matches at WWE’s Fan Axxess. So… KOFI KINGSTON gets to replace Vladimir Kozlov since there was nothing else better for him to do.

-         You know it’s bad booking when the entrances take longer than the match itself. IT WAS THAT SHORT! THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! DUD TO THE MAX!

WINNERS: SANTINO MARELLA, KOFI KINGSTON, BIG SHOW, and KANE

***Another backstage skit but this time it was with The Rock and Eve. That’s what the host of WrestleMania does and that’s to hide in the back and NOT in front of the audience? Who thought of that? At least we got cameo appearances from Mae Young and that S.O.B. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. WHAT?

                    

                                           Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

-         Now here’s a match with ACTUAL buildup. Proper buildup, I might add. This dated back two years ago when Orton punted Punk in the skull and made him unable to defend his championship.

-         For once, Randy Orton is actually susceptible to being hurt! They remembered to tape up his leg that CM Punk dinged up weeks ago! Brilliant booking! OH MY LORD!

-         +1 point for Punk locking in the Anaconda Vise on Orton. +100 points for Punk locking Orton in the Figure four leg lock on the ring post! Haven’t seen the move in YEARS! Literally, YEARS! Bret Hart made that move vicious. Nice to see that spot used.

-         Orton tries to punt Punk but isn’t able to do it because of his bad leg. Great storytelling as it makes us wonder if Orton is able to pull out a victory over Punk. With the punt out of the question, Orton tries to sneak an RKO to Punk but at the last second, Punk is able to push Orton out of it. Punk scurries over to the outside ropes and it able to hit his springboard clothesline but Orton is able to counter that into an RKO. Perfectly executed! Orton is able to get the 1-2-3.

WINNER: RANDY ORTON

***More backstage skits with The Roc, this time with Pee Wee Herman making a cameo. Ugh.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole w/ Jack Swagger. Ref: “Stone Cold” Steve Austin

-         Very good buildup to this feud. Everyone and their mom wanted to see Michael Cole get his tush kicked. Perhaps the best heel at garnering heat other than Vicki Guerrero. Two non-wrestlers are able to get more heat than the superstars! Crazy.

-         This match went on WAYYYYYY TOOOOOO LONNNNNG. This match should’ve gotten about 5 minutes TOPS. It got about 18 minutes. 18 minutes of what you might ask? 18 minutes of Cole “whooping” Lawler like it’s nobody’s business. Trying to have Lawler and that babyface comeback failed so hard that it actually drew a “boring” chant. Like I said, it shouldn’t have gone this long. It was depressing. The finish saw Jerry Lawler actually get disqualified by the Anonymous RAW GM because Steve Austin got involved and pushed Cole. That resulted in Lawler getting disqualified in his opinion. Or her. Or it.

WINNER: MICHAEL COLE

***Obviously you can’t let a match like that go on so of course, Stone Cold has to give away some stunners!

                                         The Undertaker vs. Triple H

-         Two Icons. Two Legends. Two Politicians. Just kidding. Or am I?

-         You know how normally The Undertaker is the one who is made to look strong and invincible? Not in this case. Roles reversed. The Undertaker is playing the weak, guy-on-his-last-leg type of underdog who is going to do whatever it takes to keep the streak alive. Triple H is made to be the aggressor; the one who is going to put The Undertaker down.

-         Very, very good storytelling with both guys putting in all stops in trying to beat each other up.  It’s a No Holds Barred match. Tables were broken. Bodies were broken. Very hard bumps taken from both competitors. Lots of false finishes to keep the anticipation up. This year, you truly believed The Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak could’ve been broken.

-         Both guys hit their signature moves but it didn’t seem like it was enough to put each other down. Triple H, at one point, actually hit the Tombstone on The Undertaker! Pretty sure everyone at the arena and at home thought it was over right then and there. Not so much. The Undertaker just wouldn’t quit and Triple H decides to end this when he goes for the sledgehammer. The Undertaker is in a vulnerable position and Triple H goes over to him but The Undertaker is able to lock in the Hell’s Gate! He literally held that submission in for about two minutes. Triple H has nowhere to go and is forced to tap. Excellent match.

WINNER: THE UNDERTAKER

John Morrison, Trish Stratus, and Snooki vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vicki Guerrero and LayCool

-         Like the Eight Man tag match that happened earlier, I’m not even going to waste time with this. The only notable thing was Snooki actually doing something that made everyone go “WOW! I didn’t expect to see that from her!” Snooki did some gymnastic flips and stuff. And that’s all she wrote. Snooki got the pinfall on Michelle McCool.

WINNERS: JOHN MORRISON, TRISH STRATUS, and SNOOKI

                                                WWE Championship Match

                                                The Miz (c) vs. John Cena

-         Cool introduction for The Miz detailing his journey/trials and tribulations into being where he is today.

-         THIS was your main event for the evening? The match itself was nothing to write home about. It shouldn’t even have been the way it was. Nothing about the match screamed “main event for the biggest PPV of the year!” This could’ve been the main event on any RAW show. But WrestleMania? Come on. Not going to fly.

-         The match actually went into a double count out. With that said, The Miz would officially retain his title. But, that’s not how the night is going to end! The Rock comes out and restarts the match so that there will be a winner. He changes so that it’s a no disqualification/count out match. After a couple minutes, The Rock sneaks in and hits John Cena with the Rock Bottom and The Miz pins him to retain his title.

WINNER and STILL champion: THE MIZ

-         But, the night can’t end like this, either! Not with the heel closing out the show. With The Miz still in the ring, The Rock had to make sure he smells what The Rock is cooking and gives him the spinebuster and The People’s Elbow to the send crowd home happy.

Final Thoughts: Depressing. This is the not how the biggest PPV of the year should have went. The only match that delivered was Orton/Punk, Edge/Del Rio, and Undertaker/Triple H. All the other matches were not WrestleMania quality. I would feel ripped off if I went thinking it was going to be a good show. The one thing that bothered me and probably everyone else was that they took the Sheamus/Daniel Bryan match out and made it a dark match! Not even that but they CHANGED the match completely and made it a lumberjack match. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! They extended other matches or even lessened some and bumped this match that could’ve potentially showcased these two for the future. Not great booking if you asked me.

The match that should’ve been

Meh. There’s always next year!

6.5/10