SAW 3D review

WHHHAAAAAAAATTTTUUUUUUUPPPPPP! Back bloggin’ again for my beautiful babies. That is not a lie. I do this for you. For YOUR entertainment. No, I’m not talking about the store. That’s not going to get me into any legal trouble for writing that, is it? Anyways, enough with the babbling. Onto the review!

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

It’s coming…

Here…it…comes…

DUN DUN DUN

I know what you’re thinking… ANOTHER ONE?! That’s what I thought, too. Could they draw out this movie franchise any longer? You know why it’s still going on? BECAUSE YOU AND I STILL WATCH IT! It’s been a fixture every year on Halloween since its first release back in 2004. Has it really been that long? I used to categorize the “Saw” franchise as horror, at least up until the third movie.

But, can it really be anymore? I think of it as more of a thriller/action movie instead of a scary movie. Then again, my standard for horror movies nowadays is pretty low. Maybe it’s just me? Nothing scares me unless it’s…

*shivers*

                        

ANYWAYS…

What’s the deal: Jigsaw’s back again! What?! He’s still alive somehow? Just kidding. He has been dead, but his legacy still continues! Saw 3D continues to follow the same formulaic situations in the final installment of the franchise. Random trap scene in the beginning to show what’s to come; flashbacks to previous movies to refresh thy memory; introductions to new characters who were in previous movies but are now playing a larger role; a focus on a character who goes through the latest trap maze from Jigsaw; more traps; then swerve at the end. Same difference.

If you remember all the way back to the first movie, you know that Dr. Gordon, the guy who sawed off his foot to set free, is crawling out the bathroom and goes to a steam pipe and presses his stumpy-leg onto it to cauterize it from anymore bleeding. Remember Dr. Gordon.

Jill Tuck, the ex-wife of the Jigsaw mastermind, is on a case for protection. She goes to an internal affairs detective, Matt Gibson, and asks for police protection in exchange for the incrimination of detective Mark Hoffman. She would give evidence and whatever is necessary, as long as she has their backs.

Hoffman, in the meantime, is still out setting traps and terrorizing those who don’t take their lives seriously. Scenes of a junkyard garage and look who it is! The screaming, singer guy from Linkin Park! He’s set into a trap that’ll set a chain reaction on three other people if he doesn’t pass his test. I couldn’t tell if he was singing or if he was really in pain!

Crawling in your skin, those wounds will definitely not heal

                       

Get to the point: Here’s our focal character of the movie: Bobby Dagen, a man who has falsely gained notoriety and fame for his alleged “survival” of one of Jigsaw’s traps. For this lie, he must be put to the test and endure one of Jigsaw’s ultimate trap mazes. He claims to have survived a trap where he had hooks onto his pectoral muscles and hoist himself up in the air in order to pass.

And he has the scars to prove it, even though they're fake

So, Mr. Bobby Dagen later gets mugged by the scary man-horse-pig goony and finds himself unconscious in an asylum. For his lies, Bobby’s wife, Joyce, has also been abducted and set into the trap where Bobby must complete in order to save her. What Bobby doesn’t know is that he has to go through the three stages of hell, finding his publicist, lawyer, and close friend all parameters within the traps. If he doesn’t meet the time requirements for each trap, they will die. He does poorly in all three of them. What fun is it if they don’t die, RIGHT?

On the other side of the story, detective Gibson is on the hunt for Hoffman’s whereabouts and finds out that he’s been under Hoffman’s watch all along. Gibson plays right into Hoffman’s hands and is ultimately killed when he is greeted with an automated turret gun in the command center of the junkyard.

Hoffman, on the other hand, has to scheme and find access to Jill Tuck. He has to make quick work of the police headquarters before reaching Jill Tuck. When he does, both quickly get into a scuffle. In the end, Hoffman is able to get Jill Tuck into the infamous reverse bear trap and kills her. No more Jigsaw’s babe.

Meanwhile, as Bobby finally gets to the last part of the maze, he has to put that false story of his to the test. He has to hook himself up on the chest, hoist himself up, and reach to a set of plugs in order to stop a trap his wife is in. He actually makes it up but as he’s trying to connect the plugs together, the hooks rip off of his chest and he falls, ultimately failing. His wife gets burned inside a chamber as he realizes how much of a failure he is.

Humble pie, best served fresh

We think Hoffman’s job is complete but… here comes the swerve! As he burns down any evidence on his workshop and leaves, he is greeted by THREE man-horse-pig goonies. One of them pulls of their masks and it is Dr. Gordon! The guy with the nubby leg! We see flashbacks and it reveals that because Dr. Gordon passed his test, the original Jigsaw helps him recover and pronounces him to be protector of his wife. Since Jill Tuck died, Hoffman’s life must now be punished. Dr. Gordon brings us back to the bathroom in the first movie and shackles Hoffman there. Dr. Gordon throws away the hacksaw he had used to cut off his foot and leaves Hoffman there to die. End of movie.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

                              

Worth watching?: Yes, it was a fairly good watch. It definitely helped connect any loose ends of the franchise in case any of them left you confused. I don’t know if it was the sheer happiness because FINALLY this is the last movie. No more after this one. Right? That’s what they want us to think. At least I hope so. No more extended loopholes, please!

What did you think of this movie if you saw it? Loved it or hated it? Leave a comment!