WWE Survivor Series 2010 review

How’s everyone doing on this lovely day? Today is a very special day because it’s Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone is spending quality time with those they love. There’s a lot to be thankful for... like Almond Joy! How do people NOT like Almond Joy? And don’t give me that, “because there’s coconut” BS. I’m not a big fan of coconut either but there’s something about that and chocolate going together that equals greatness. I think it’s the best candy in the world! I only bought 20 packs of them because they were a buck each. :D

I just finished watching a pay-per-view and it just so happens to be…

Looking back to my previous wrestling review, I realized how long it was. I’m going to try to cut that down and only mention the worthy parts. I’m not trying to write it up like a play-by-play because that takes way too long. I’m sure you don’t’ want to read a wall of text anyways.

Onto the review!

WWE United States Championship Match

Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Ted DiBiase w/ Maryse

                                   

-       How awesome is Daniel Bryan’s “Ride of the Valkyries” theme song? If you don’t recognize the name of the song, listen to it here. I’m sure you’ve heard it somewhere before.

-       Great back and forth wrestling from both competitors. I’d expect nothing less from Bryan but DiBiase brought out his best and hung in there with Bryan.

-       Sick spot with Bryan hitting the suicide dive to the outside on DiBiase. Bryan did not hesitate and went full force. The man is relentless. Reminded me of his NXT one where he bruised himself pretty bad against Chris Jericho. See it here.

-       Big, back body drop from Bryan to DiBiase on the top rope. They got some pretty good air on that. Ouch.

-       DiBiase goes for the schoolboy but only gets a two and Bryan reverses it into the LeBell lock and successfully retains his title. Bryan wins by submission.

WINNER and STILL United States Champion: Daniel Bryan

·      Post match: As Bryan heads up to the ramp and celebrates, he gets clobbered by The Miz and his Money in the Bank briefcase. The Miz cuts a promo and SLAMS the Miami Heat and LeBron James. MAJOR LOL. Everything he said was true. The Miz touts that it’s not a matter of IF; it’s a matter of WHEN he cashes his briefcase, he’s going to be the new WWE Champion. TEASE, TEASE, TEASE!

John Morrison vs. Sheamus

                                               

-       For some reason, Sheamus reminded me of one of those puppets I used to see when I was younger. I couldn’t figure out which one until I FOUND IT! He looks like Beaker from the Muppets. LOLLLLLLLLL.

MEEP MEEP MEEO MEEP

                                               

-       Classic match of speed vs. power. Morrison comes off with a nice move where he does a running corkscrew plancha to the outside on Sheamus. That move was filthy.

-       Sheamus with some nice power moves and surprisingly a couple of submission holds. Probably nothing more than rest holds because that’s not part of his arsenal.

-       Good back and forth action between the two with a couple of false finishes.

-       Sheamus tries to knock Morrison’s face off with the Brogue Kick but Morrison moves away and Sheamus leg gets hung on the top rope. That results in Morrison hitting his Flying Chuck and then a running knee strike to get the pinfall. No finish with Starship Pain by Morrison, which was surprising. Great victory for Morrison.

WINNER: John Morrison

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match

Dolph Ziggler (c) w/ Vicki Guerrero vs. Kaval

                       

-       Kaval bringing it back with the knife-edge chops. WOOOOOOOOO! The boy got swag.

-       Ziggler has come a long way. He’s been putting on great matches, particularly those who are about the same size as him. He works best with opponents in the same class as him.

-       There’s a spot where Kaval does a cartwheel then a kick to Ziggler’s face. Ziggler is supposed to brace his face but apparently didn’t have enough time to react. OUCH. Took it like a man. Bloody nose results.

-       Kaval tries to hit a Phoenix Splash but Ziggler moves away. What’s more impressive is that Kaval landed on his feet! Like I said, the boy got swag.

-       Kaval goes for a roll up, but ends up getting it reversed by Ziggler and he ends up getting the pinfall victory.

WINNER and STILL Intercontinental Champion: Dolph Ziggler

Traditional Survivor Series Match

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

                                               

-       “Dashing” Cody Rhodes. Feel bad about yourself? Well, here are some grooming tips from the “Dashing” one.

-       M.V.P. tries to suplex Drew McIntyre back into the ring but gets tripped up by Alberto Del Rio thus leading McIntyre to fall on top of M.V.P. Del Rio holds onto M.V.P.’s leg preventing him from getting out of the pinfall by McIntyre. M.V.P. is the first one eliminated from Team Mysterio. 5-4 Del Rio.

-       Chris Masters comes in to fight Del Rio but ends up getting trapped into Del Rio’s rolling armbar. Masters submits and is eliminated. 5-3 Del Rio.

-       Big Show comes in and Del Rio taunts him, leading to a knockout punch onto Del Rio’s grill. Del Rio gets helped to the back; we’re supposed to believe he’s eliminated and unable to fight??? 4-3 Del Rio.

-       “Dashing” Cody Rhodes comes in in attempt to get revenge on Big Show but ends up getting knocked the F out. Pinfall on Rhodes and he’s eliminated. 3-3 tie.

-       Kofi Kingston and Tyler Reks duke it out with Kingston able to score a pinfall on him. Reks is eliminated. 3-2 Mysterio.

-       Jack Swagger comes in and has a great battle with Kofi Kingston. Back and forth action and some sweet reversals from both guys. Great chemistry here. Swagger is able to lock the Ankle Lock on Kingston and he submits. Kingston is eliminated. 2-2 tie.

-       Rey Mysterio comes in and together with Big Show, they get the best of Jack Swagger with Mysterio hitting a splash off of Big Show’s shoulders, thus eliminating Swagger with a pinfall. 2-1 Mysterio.

-       Drew McIntyre comes in but does little to nothing against Show and Mysterio. Big Show hits the chokeslam on McIntyre and eliminates him via pinfall. 2-0 Mysterio.

WINNER: Team Mysterio; sole survivors are Rey Mysterio and Big Show

2 on 1 Handicap Match for WWE Divas Championship

Layla/Michelle McCool (Team LayCool) vs. Natalya

                       

-       Natalya takes a beating from both members of Team LayCool. In and out offense on her.

-       Natalya shows her strength by reversing a double team suplex on her and back at them.

-       Action spills to the outside and Natalya sends both LayCool members into the stands.

-       Some miscommunication from Team LayCool and they end up bumping heads which leads to Natalya slapping the Sharpshooter on Michelle McCool for the submission victory.

WINNER and NEW Divas Champion: Natalya

·      Post Match: Natalya celebrates in warming fashion until she gets a beatdown from Team LayCool. This prompts for the return of BETH PHOENIX! Did not see that one coming. They fight and fend off Team LayCool. Great sight with Beth Phoenix hoisting Natalya up on her shoulders as they celebrate her victory.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match

Kane (c) vs. Edge w/ empty wheelchair

                                   

-       Aggressive start for Kane. He’s really sad that Edge took his father, Paul Bearer, away. He’s a bastard now.

-       Edge works on Kane’s leg for quite some time. Great psychology from the veteran.

-       Lots and lots of rest holds from Kane. Kind of expected that since Kane is pretty old and sluggish. The man can still go though.

-       Back and forth action from the two and then comes a weird ending. Kane sets up for the Tombstone pile driver but Edge reverses and hits the Spear. Edge pins Kane almost nonchalantly with his hand on Kane’s chest and Kane’s arm is also on Edge’s chest. Both competitors’ shoulders are on the mat, thus leading to a draw.

WINNER and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Kane

·      Post match: Edge is pissed that he didn’t win and Kane attacks Edge while his back was turned. Kane tries to choke slam Edge on the floor but is reversed. Action spills outside and Edge gets Kane on the wheelchair and pushes him into the barricade! The barricade breaks and Edge leaves his mark.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match

Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel (c) w/ Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

     

-       Santino Marella is freaking awesome. Love the cobra. Most. Lethal. Move. EVER.

-       Santino Marella with some nice wrestling moves on Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel. Going with the fundamentals.

-       Standard heel tactics from Slater/Gabriel with the corner beat downs and the referee distraction.

-       Marella sets up for the COBRA but the other Nexus members distract him.

-       Slater hits his finisher and pins Marella for the victory.

WINNER and STILL Tag Team Champions: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

·      Post match: Nexus lays out Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov and throws them out the ring until… BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!

It’s important so listen up

                                               

Michael Cole says the anonymous Raw GM wants the Nexus to leave and that they cannot interfere in the upcoming WWE Championship match or they will be suspended indefinitely.

WWE Championship Match

Randy Orton (c) vs. Wade Barrett with special guest referee John Cena

           

-       Stipulation here is if Randy Orton wins, John Cena will be fired from the WWE but if Wade Barrett wins, John Cena will be freed from the Nexus.

-       We’re supposed to be torn on what John Cena is going to do, but that’s silly. That’s for all the kiddies and women to do.

-       Very slow beginning with lots of punching/kicking and rest holds.

-       Match starts to pick up when Cena becomes the focal point when he goes for the count.

-       Back and forth action between the two competitors. At one point, Barrett becomes frustrated with Cena’s officiating and shoves him. Cena gets boiled up and shoves him back and Randy Orton hits the RKO. Cena counts one, two, HESITATION, and three. Randy Orton gets the pinall victory. John Cena is fired.

WINNER and STILL WWE Champion: Randy Orton

·      Post match: Nexus decides to come and fight but gets thrown out by Orton and Cena. John Cena hands Randy Orton his WWE championship belt and lets him get his moment. Randy Orton leaves. John Cena is still in the ring and we’re supposed to feel bad that he’s gone from the WWE now. Barely any reaction from the crowd as Cena tries to pander to them. He teases leaving for good but decides to go into the crowd and give everyone high five’s. He finally heads up the ramp for one last goodbye and leaves. NO MORE JOHN CENA. Yeah, right.

Final Thoughts: WWE Survivor Series was an above average pay-per-view. Very good start from the first four matches but up until the Divas championship match is when the fuel started hitting low. Everything became sluggish and the crowd seemed tired. Other than that, great story involved with the whole John Cena being fired from WWE. I look forward into seeing how this transpires in the upcoming weeks.

7.5/10

SAW 3D review

WHHHAAAAAAAATTTTUUUUUUUPPPPPP! Back bloggin’ again for my beautiful babies. That is not a lie. I do this for you. For YOUR entertainment. No, I’m not talking about the store. That’s not going to get me into any legal trouble for writing that, is it? Anyways, enough with the babbling. Onto the review!

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

It’s coming…

Here…it…comes…

DUN DUN DUN

I know what you’re thinking… ANOTHER ONE?! That’s what I thought, too. Could they draw out this movie franchise any longer? You know why it’s still going on? BECAUSE YOU AND I STILL WATCH IT! It’s been a fixture every year on Halloween since its first release back in 2004. Has it really been that long? I used to categorize the “Saw” franchise as horror, at least up until the third movie.

But, can it really be anymore? I think of it as more of a thriller/action movie instead of a scary movie. Then again, my standard for horror movies nowadays is pretty low. Maybe it’s just me? Nothing scares me unless it’s…

*shivers*

                        

ANYWAYS…

What’s the deal: Jigsaw’s back again! What?! He’s still alive somehow? Just kidding. He has been dead, but his legacy still continues! Saw 3D continues to follow the same formulaic situations in the final installment of the franchise. Random trap scene in the beginning to show what’s to come; flashbacks to previous movies to refresh thy memory; introductions to new characters who were in previous movies but are now playing a larger role; a focus on a character who goes through the latest trap maze from Jigsaw; more traps; then swerve at the end. Same difference.

If you remember all the way back to the first movie, you know that Dr. Gordon, the guy who sawed off his foot to set free, is crawling out the bathroom and goes to a steam pipe and presses his stumpy-leg onto it to cauterize it from anymore bleeding. Remember Dr. Gordon.

Jill Tuck, the ex-wife of the Jigsaw mastermind, is on a case for protection. She goes to an internal affairs detective, Matt Gibson, and asks for police protection in exchange for the incrimination of detective Mark Hoffman. She would give evidence and whatever is necessary, as long as she has their backs.

Hoffman, in the meantime, is still out setting traps and terrorizing those who don’t take their lives seriously. Scenes of a junkyard garage and look who it is! The screaming, singer guy from Linkin Park! He’s set into a trap that’ll set a chain reaction on three other people if he doesn’t pass his test. I couldn’t tell if he was singing or if he was really in pain!

Crawling in your skin, those wounds will definitely not heal

                       

Get to the point: Here’s our focal character of the movie: Bobby Dagen, a man who has falsely gained notoriety and fame for his alleged “survival” of one of Jigsaw’s traps. For this lie, he must be put to the test and endure one of Jigsaw’s ultimate trap mazes. He claims to have survived a trap where he had hooks onto his pectoral muscles and hoist himself up in the air in order to pass.

And he has the scars to prove it, even though they're fake

So, Mr. Bobby Dagen later gets mugged by the scary man-horse-pig goony and finds himself unconscious in an asylum. For his lies, Bobby’s wife, Joyce, has also been abducted and set into the trap where Bobby must complete in order to save her. What Bobby doesn’t know is that he has to go through the three stages of hell, finding his publicist, lawyer, and close friend all parameters within the traps. If he doesn’t meet the time requirements for each trap, they will die. He does poorly in all three of them. What fun is it if they don’t die, RIGHT?

On the other side of the story, detective Gibson is on the hunt for Hoffman’s whereabouts and finds out that he’s been under Hoffman’s watch all along. Gibson plays right into Hoffman’s hands and is ultimately killed when he is greeted with an automated turret gun in the command center of the junkyard.

Hoffman, on the other hand, has to scheme and find access to Jill Tuck. He has to make quick work of the police headquarters before reaching Jill Tuck. When he does, both quickly get into a scuffle. In the end, Hoffman is able to get Jill Tuck into the infamous reverse bear trap and kills her. No more Jigsaw’s babe.

Meanwhile, as Bobby finally gets to the last part of the maze, he has to put that false story of his to the test. He has to hook himself up on the chest, hoist himself up, and reach to a set of plugs in order to stop a trap his wife is in. He actually makes it up but as he’s trying to connect the plugs together, the hooks rip off of his chest and he falls, ultimately failing. His wife gets burned inside a chamber as he realizes how much of a failure he is.

Humble pie, best served fresh

We think Hoffman’s job is complete but… here comes the swerve! As he burns down any evidence on his workshop and leaves, he is greeted by THREE man-horse-pig goonies. One of them pulls of their masks and it is Dr. Gordon! The guy with the nubby leg! We see flashbacks and it reveals that because Dr. Gordon passed his test, the original Jigsaw helps him recover and pronounces him to be protector of his wife. Since Jill Tuck died, Hoffman’s life must now be punished. Dr. Gordon brings us back to the bathroom in the first movie and shackles Hoffman there. Dr. Gordon throws away the hacksaw he had used to cut off his foot and leaves Hoffman there to die. End of movie.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

                              

Worth watching?: Yes, it was a fairly good watch. It definitely helped connect any loose ends of the franchise in case any of them left you confused. I don’t know if it was the sheer happiness because FINALLY this is the last movie. No more after this one. Right? That’s what they want us to think. At least I hope so. No more extended loopholes, please!

What did you think of this movie if you saw it? Loved it or hated it? Leave a comment!

Paranormal Activity 2 review

I am back! It’s been a couple of days since my last blog. But, here I am! I’ve been in the mood to watch horror movies lately even though Halloween just passed. So… I decided to watch a recently released flick, which brings me to…

BLAM!

If you haven’t seen the first Paranormal Activity, then why the hell are you reading this? Unless you want to be spoiled for whatever reason, I’d advise you to close this. Like right now. Please.

Just to refresh your memory on what happened in the first Paranormal Activity, I’ll break it down for you:

• There are two protagonists here: Katie and Micah. They’re a couple that has been together for quite some time and are living in a suburban place.

• Katie believes she has been haunted by some sort of demonic presence throughout her childhood and is still sensing things, particularly at nighttime.

• Micah thinks Katie is just overreacting, but decides to set up a video camera in their house to see if he can capture anything. Most notable spot belongs in their bedroom.

• A strange, supernatural phenomenon occurs minor at first, but begins to gradually increase as each night goes by, particularly when the couple is asleep. Katie believes the demon feeds off of negative energy and wants to haunt her.

• As each night comes and goes, Katie begins behaving erratically from sounding possessed to standing by the bed next to Micah for hours while he’s asleep.

• The final night, Katie apparently gets controlled by the demonic presence while she heads downstairs the house and lets out an eerily scream. Micah rushes downstairs, then we hear silence, and then footsteps slowly coming up. Micah’s body gets thrown at the camera and Katie lunges over towards the camera as we can see a demonic face for a brief moment. We’re to expect Katie killed Micah.

• The film ends by saying Micah’s body was found while Katie’s whereabouts were unknown.

So without further ado… 

She's excited like you

         

           

What's the deal: We’re introduced to a family, fresh off a newborn boy, into their house up in the suburban area in California. Everything seems happy and dandy until the home of Daniel and Kristi Rey gets “burglarized.” The house is completely trashed with the exception of the room of their newborn son’s, Hunter.

This begins the installment of surveillance cameras into certain parts of the house by Daniel, in hopes of finding who or what has been causing this. The family also has a daughter, Ali, who lives with them and also a hired babysitter/housekeeper, Martine.

The next few days begin some minor, supernatural phenomenons. Pots and pans are falling on their own in the kitchen; cabinets are opening; the pool cleaner mysteriously coming out the pool; lights flickering, weird noises, you name it. 

I got more scared when my water didn't boil

The maid, who is some sort of know-it-all demon expert, believes that there are evil spirits roaming within the house. At one point, she experiences the creepiness in the house and decides to burn some sort of incense and wave it all around the place, in hopes of ridding the evil spirits. Her actions cause Daniel to fire her because he refuses to believe that there are any supernatural beings behind this.

Get to the point: As you may remember if you saw the prequel, Katie, who is actually the sister of Kristi, talks about being haunted by a demonic presence during her childhood. We see flashbacks of them talking about this but Katie tells Kristi to not mention it because it’ll only escalade the problem.

As the days go on and on, the phenomenons start to intensify. There’s a shot of Hunter, who is sleeping in his cradle, slowly being pulled out of the cradle by a mysterious force. More strange things are happening within the house and even the dog becomes a victim. The canine is also able to sense the strange things happening in the house and decides to check what is going on downstairs when he hears a door opening. The dog barks ferociously and is attacked and pulled violently off camera by the phenomena.

When the family finds out that something has happened to the dog, Daniel and Ali takes it to the veterinarian, leaving Kristi and the baby alone. Kristi goes up to check on Hunter and as she’s doing so, she gets violently dragged by the mysterious force down the stairs. She tries to run back up but gets pulled back down and into the basement. Several hours later, the basement door opens and out comes a demonized Kristi.

As soon as Daniel and Ali come back, they notice that Kristi has been acting strange and unresponsive. They watch the footage they captured of Kristi’s attack and Daniel calls back housekeeper Martine. Martine prepares some sort of cross and tells Daniel that it will pass the demon onto another blood relative.

Daniel tries to use the cross on Kristi but she attacks him. After some back and forth fighting between the two, Daniel is finally able to touch her with the cross. The demon has now disappeared from Kristi.

However, some weeks later, Katie visits and describes the weird things happening at her place. This event transpires from over the first movie and comes into play in this movie. On a different night, Katie, possessed after killing Micah, breaks into the Rey family’s home and kills both Daniel and Kristi and takes Hunter with her. Ali at the time was still in school and then the movie ends, seemingly to conclude there will be a third movie.

Died a Johnny Cage death. Flawless victory

Worth watching?: Absolutely not. Unless you want to watch it just to complete it. The movie’s first 40 minutes or so is so drawn out and anticlimactic because of the tension they’re trying to build. Some of the scenes that build up tension don’t even result in a scare! More like a tease. And when something actually does happen, it’s not even scary! Unless you’re one of those who get scared when some loud noise happens, you will be fairly disappointed. Stay far away from this movie. Out the theaters. Behind the walls. Outside a building. Behind a tree. Near your dog. Inside a firetruck. Deep inside a cave.

I will say, though, that I appreciate the kind of movie Paranormal Activity has given the horror genre; the lack of any sort of background music at least tries to play up that the movie could be somewhat real. I like the guerrilla-style videography on some shots as it gives you the perspective like you are really there.

You’re better off catching this on a rent in which you didn’t pay for.

NBA - Boston Celtics defeat Miami Heat 112-107

Postgame Thoughts

First and foremost, I want to say it was great that they had a pregame ceremony for the veterans on Veterans' Day. Thanks to those who have, are, or will be serving this country. People don’t appreciate what they really have. The veterans deserve it.

1)   Got to get use to Shaquille O’Neal in green. He looks like a giant tree.

2)   MONSTER JAM from Rajon Rondo. Where was the rotation from Chris Bosh? He should’ve known Eddie House wouldn’t catch up with him. Someone’s falling asleep on defense. You could've handed him a camera to take pictures since he wasn't doing anything.
 

3)   Am I the only person who cringes when Rondo alley's to Kevin Garnett? Just fear for KG landing wrong again.

4)   Miami has two different houses. Only one is a stack.

5)   Solid first quarter from the Celtics. C’s were 11-19 from the field to the Heat’s 7-17. Shot selections could have been better. *stares at Nate Robinson*

6)   It’ll be nice to get Kendrick Perkins and both O’Neal’s healthy at some point. Defensive rebounds are killing them.

7)   There is an obvious lack of chemistry from the Heat. Can they sacrifice the amount of shots from their stud players for the better of the team?

8)   Miami also needs to find a true point guard. Carlos Arroyo is suspect on offense and Eddie House is suspect on defense. Maybe someone at the deadline depending on their record at All-Star break?

9)   Celtics are the Harlem Globetrotters in disguise today.

10)   I seriously believe if LeBron James drives to the basket every time, he will be successful every time.

11)  Nice first half for the Celtics. Shot 24-40 on 60% shooting. Ray Allen leads all scorers at this point. The man is ageless. That’s why he’s Jesus Shuttlesworth.

He still got game. Do you?

12)  They’re right when they say Miami has no true fans. It shows when there are empty seats and the fans are quiet.

13)  How do you commit a flagrant foul when your hands are nowhere near the guy? Unless you’re LeBron James, I guess.

14)  Glen Davis has taken an insane amount of charges this early in the season.

15)  Paul Pierce is one of the best at the up fake and stutter step.

16) Can you imagine how deep the Celtics will be when they get everyone back? Even deeper than the 2007-08 team.

17)  I wonder how many technical fouls LeBron and D-Wade have in their careers?

I make this face when I'm hungry

18)  Are they really paying Chris Bosh that much money to get seven rebounds?

19)  Ray Allen finished 7-9 at the three-point line. Still impressive but not like Game 2 of NBA Finals against the Lakers where he lit that many shots and made them in the first half.

20)  Miami Heat ain’t winning the championship this year. People say they will, which I agree, but we're talking about now. They have to get through the Boston Celtics first.

WWE RAW review for 11/8/10

HEY! I’m back again for another review and this time it’s WRESTLING! Seriously, who doesn’t like wrasslin’? Don’t lie; you know you’ve watched it at some point in your life. Yeah, we know it’s fake and all but… It's still real to me, damn it!

I know it’s Wednesday and all so technically I should’ve had this up on Monday when it was airing, but I was doing stuff that day so it had to wait.

Anyways… onto the review!

Live from Manchester, England, as Michael Cole tells us (it’s taped actually). We’re joined by him and Josh Mathews commentating at ringside.

Things kick off with John Cena already in the ring, standing on a Nexus podium, reading off a scroll about how Wade Barrett has made the winds of change, lead a revolutionary group, and will become the new WWE champion at Survivor Series. Cena did all this while wearing his purple and yellow shirt and hat. See the thing here is, I don’t get why Cena doesn’t have to fully deck out in Nexus gear. I mean, he IS in Nexus, right? He only has to wear the armband? He doesn’t even come out to the Nexus’ theme when he’s alone, only when he’s with the group!

OOOOOOPS!

Moving along… Barrett tells Cena that it’s his duty to make sure he comes out of Survivor Series the new champion… or else Cena is fired! OH SNAP, GIRLFRIEND! Of course, if Barrett does win, Cena will be free from the Nexus. That’s the stipulation. Cena tells that when it’s all said and done, he’s going to give him and anybody else that wants to interfere the beating of a lifetime. IN SERIOUS VOICE!

Barrett steps on all that and reminds us that he has Cena’s destiny in his hands. So he wants Cena to proceed and practice that Wade Barrett is the new WWE champion, even though it hasn’t happened yet.

Cue Randy Orton. Orton comes out and says last time he checked, he was still WWE champion. He’s going to make sure Barrett never gets the belt. Barrett interrupts and says he doesn’t have any backing like he does.  And then… beep, beep, beep! We’ve got an email!

 It must be IMPORTANT

The anonymous RAW general manager decides that tonight, there is going to be a 10-man tag team match, making it Team Orton vs. Team Barrett and John Cena is going to be the special guest referee. The segment ends with Cena pushing down the Nexus podium and shoving fellow Nexus member David Otunga flat on his bum.

Coming up next is going to be a Divas Cup tag match. OH GOOD LORD. Nobody in America gives a damn about soccer, so why are we going to care about this match? Ok, I lied. But only because Maryse is in the match.

Would you resist?

* Eve and The Bella Twins vs. Maryse, Tamina, and Alicia Fox

You know, I’d actually give a damn if there were wrestling involved. But guess what? THERE ISN’T. I feel this way about every time these women have a match. It saddens me. It’s just too quick and sloppy. That’s what she said.

Winners: Eve and The Bella Twins.

- Backstage segment with Nexus. David Otunga says John Cena tried to punk them. Wade Barrett chimes in and says Otunga isn’t going to be on Team Barrett tonight. Instead, he’s going to face Cena.

* The Harty Dynasty w/ Natalya vs. The Uso’s

David Hart Smith and Jimmy Uso start things up. Quick scoop slam from Smith. Smith knocks both Uso’s out the ring. Tag goes to Tyson Kidd, who with the Uso’s both outside, lands a sick somersault-turned-hurricanrana onto one of the Uso’s. Back in the ring, Kidd misses a springboard elbow drop with an ambush in the corner of the Uso’s. David Hart Smith is on the outside for some reason talking with Natalya instead of trying to reach in for a tag.  But, Kidd is able to get the tag and in comes Smith. Smith comes up with a nice belly-to-belly slam, follow by a running power slam which gets a two. Action spills from outside the ring. Smith gets distracted enough to get knocked by a kick by one of the Uso’s and then a splash off the top rope.

Winners: The Uso’s

** There’s still tension in the air between The Hart Dynasty. Another tease in the progress of a breakup.

- Backstage interview with Randy Orton. Orton says his assembled team by the general manager better be the best-assembled team EVER. SUCH SERIOUS TONE! The Miz comes along and says he’s a member of Team Orton and that alone makes his team AWESOME. HOORAH!

 Remember me?

- Another backstage segment with Nexus. David Otunga is probably the least popular guy in the Nexus’ lockerroom. Hell, he’s probably the least favorite guy in the WWE. That’s probably accurate. He babbles about beating Cena later tonight and showing what a real leader is like. Yeah, right.

* Goldust vs. Ted DiBiase w/ Maryse

Tie up in the corner by Goldust and then him showing DiBiase all the fundamentals of wrestling. The man can still go, folks.

When I have nightmares, it’s because I see him

DiBiase hits a shoulder block and gets a two. DiBiase applies a chin lock as Goldust tries to fight out of it, but gets hit with a back breaker.  Goldust fights back with some vintage moves, as Cole loves to overuse. Irish whip into the corner that gets reversed by DiBiase, sending Goldust into the turnbuckle. But, Goldust is able to get a quick slam on DiBiase for a two.

Aksana starts running down the ramp in total Baywatch style and gets into a tangle with Maryse. Maryse, holding the million-dollar belt, gets it snatched away by Aksana and she sends her with a parting slap to the face. The distraction gets DiBiase and Goldust goes for a quick schoolboy and gets the victory.

Winner: Goldust

* John Cena vs. David Otunga

Otunga tries to take the high road but Cena follows him and slams his mug onto the car they have on the stage. Back into the ring, Cena hits a quick clothesline. Then, Cena hits a dropkick as Michael Cole splooges his pants in amazement. Cena gets Otunga into the corner and tries to run through him, only to meet the steel post.

Out of nowhere, the crowd starts getting super anti/pro Cena with chants. Then comes the usual routine with Cena. Two shoulder blocks, one back slam, and then the Five Knuckle Shuffle. I HATE THAT MOVE. He doesn’t even connect sometimes! Then, Cena hits the Attitude Adjusment on Otunga and slaps on the STF. Otunga taps out because he has just been humbled.

Winner: John Cena

- Backstage, Otunga is sitting and has an ice pack on his neck. Wade Barrett comes by and tells him what an embarrassment he has been the past couple of weeks. He tells Otunga he’s going to give him a chance to redeem himself. He’s going to take Nexus to Smackdown! and he’s going to have a match with Edge. If Otunga loses, then he’s out of Nexus. WHY NOT OUT THE WWE?!

Next, we get an in ring segment with Santino Marella, accompanied by Vladimir Kozlov, and Sheamus for some teatime. SERIOUSLY? I’m just going to leave it at that because I already wasted time by including this segment. But, the anonymous general manager chimes in again via email that there will be a match with these two so…

 A jar of mayonnaise

* Santino Marella vs. Sheamus

Santino is really scared of Sheamus. Like, really, really, scared. Sheamus chases Marella outside and Marella jumps over the barricade. Then, ANOTHER email from the anonymous general manager. He must really hate what’s going on with all these emails. He is now one with us. FINALLY! The GM tells Marella to get in the ring and compete or he will be suspended.

Marella antes himself up and gets back into the ring. He tries to COBRA UP but Sheamus smashes his face with a right hand. Sheamus begins stomping away. Marella crawls around the ring and tries to buy time by convincing Sheamus not to fight him anymore. Then, Marella hits a blatant low blow that’ll bring any man to his knees.  Disqualification by Santino Marella.

Winner: Sheamus

Still in the ring, Marella begins parading around like he won. Sheamus actually gets back up and hits the Brogue Kick. He then starts kneeing Marella in the back of the neck repeatedly as the referee calls for the bell. Sheamus picks up Marella and tries to give him the High Cross but out comes John Morrison to make the save. He beats Sheamus up and lays him down.

- Backstage, John Cena and Wade Barrett talk about Wrestlemania. Barrett tells Cena to imagine not being there to experience it anymore. He tells Cena to just do what’s right and it’ll be all over with.

* Randy Orton, R-Truth, Daniel Bryan, Mark Henry, and The Miz w/ Alex Riley vs. The Nexus (Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Husky Harris, and Michael McGillicutty). John Cena is the special guest referee

Daniel Bryan and Justin Gabriel start it up. The action gets quick as Gabriel tags in McGillicutty. He soon runs into an arm drag from Daniel Bryan. Blind tag from The Miz and McGillicutty takes a clothesline to the back of the neck. Some mud stomps on the corner by The Miz and he hits his corner flying clothesline.

The Miz reaches to Randy Orton for a tag. In comes Orton and he starts hacking away. Jumping knee onto McGillicutty’s chest. Orton throws McGillicutty into the Nexus’ corner and wants Wade Barrett. Instead Heath Slater makes the tag. Orton tags in R-Truth and he gets to work on Slater. Couple of R-Truth’s signature moves on Slater and goes for the cover, but only gets a two. Justin Gabriel comes in and breaks the pin and in comes everybody.

All members of Nexus get knocked out of the ring as Team Orton watches on. Out comes David Otunga. He watches from ringside. We’re back in action in the ring with R-Truth and Justin Gabriel. Good back and forth offense, mainly from Gabriel until he tags in Husky Harris. Harris and Truth do work until Truth tags in Mark Henry. Harris tries throwing punches on Henry but it doesn’t even do a thing. Great selling, huh?

Henry gets a scoop slam on Harris. He tries to give him a running splash but misses. Harris tags in McGillicutty. Harris irish whips McGillicutty into Henry but Henry moves away. Then, Henry tags in Daniel Bryan. Bryan starts throwing sweet kicks onto McGillicutty in the corner. Bryan gives McGillicutty a german suplex and then a dropkick and goes for the pin, but only gets a two. Irish whip and then a blind tag from Husky Harris and that gets him back in. Harris with some power moves. Harris then tags in Wade Barrett.

They start putting in work as the crowd starts chanting for Daniel Bryan. Barrett drags Bryan into the Nexus’ corner and tags in Justin Gabriel. Gabriel soon tags in Husky Harris and they both start double-teaming on Bryan until John Cena breaks it up. Harris tags in Heath Slater and he starts pounding on Bryan. Irish whip into the corner and Slater tries a Stinger’s Splash but Bryan moves away. Slater hits The Miz off the apron as Bryan tried to reach for a tag.

Bryan makes the hot tag to Randy Orton and Slater makes the tag to Wade Barrett. Orton starts cleaning house with his usual stuff. Orton hits his hangman’s DDT on Barrett and he starts to coil up for the RKO. Barrett gets back up and fights off Orton. He tries to go for the Wasteland but Orton counters. Run ins from everyone as they each hit some signature moves. The action get splattered everywhere until it’s just Orton and Barrett in the ring.

Orton tries to go for the RKO again until David Otunga decides to stick his nose in the action. John Cena tells Otunga to get away. Out of nowhere, The Miz hits the Skull Crashing Finale on Orton for whatever reason and Barrett goes for the pin and gets the win for his team.

Winners: The Nexus

** The Nexus hit the ramp and hoist Wade Barrett on their shoulders in some sort indication that this is how it’ll turn out in two weeks at Survivor Series.

Final Thoughts: This week’s episode is rather lacking in terms of building up for Survivor Series in two weeks. Yeah, the main event is sure picking up but what about the undercard? There never seems to be a proper build with the other matches and it shows on their buy rates. The matches were solid but that’s about it. Hopefully next week we get to see some further development on the other matches for the RAW side.

4.5/10