A Christmas Story review

HHHEEELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO, UNIVERSE! Just recently hit 1,000 views thanks to you! I don’t know if it was an accident (that’s what she said) or not, but I hope this trend continues. Hope all of y’all are doing wonderful on… CHRISTMAS! That’s right. Happy Christmas to all my folks out there! Spend quality time with those you love since not everyone has the chance to.

That’s me, of course, with my delicious six pack

                                   

Since it’s Christmas and all, why not make this a special one? To keep up with the holiday theme, I’m going to write a non-traditional review of a movie I’m sure you’ve all seen a MILLION TIMES like I have. It might not even come out as a review. AT ALL. As if it hasn’t been flooding TBS or any other family channel… you think you have it figured out?

DUN… DUN… DUN…

I can’t express enough how much I have seen this movie over the past five or so years. Every December, I catch this on television and it’s still as good as ever. Even after I have seen it during the day/night, I could catch it another time and sit through it again. It’s definitely one of my favorite films. OF ALL TIME.

Enough with my jibba jabba and onto the goodies!

What’s the deal: One word. Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action-Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle. Ok, maybe that wasn’t EXACTLY one word but if you say it as diligently and ecstatic as our protagonist, Ralphie, you would’ve thought that was one word. Every kid’s dream is to receive that ONE, ideal special toy that tops any other presents they get. The same toy they sought for and would go at any costs in obtaining it. Ralphie, a nine-year-old boy from parents of two, is set on persuasion from his parents, to his middle school teacher, and even to a mall Santa Claus that this BB gun is the ideal and perfect gift for him. It’s the only thing he wants.

Somebody, please do this and tell me if it’s true

           

Get to the point: Of course, nobody says this was going to be easy for little Ralphie. Deception is Ralphie’s best friend. Even though he clearly expresses that he wants this toy, Ralphie is challenged with obstacles in trying to gets others to see that this is what he really wants. Nobody wants a football, and anything that’ll “shoot your eye out” is ok with Ralphie.

When Ralphie tells his mother that he wants the BB gun for Christmas, she proclaims: “No, you’ll shoot your eye out.” When Ralphie is in school and his teacher gives the students a theme to write about what they want for Christmas, Ralphie jumps all over it and writes about his desire for the Red Ryder BB gun. Sweetening up to his teacher with a fruit basket in hopes that she’ll give him an A++++++ and agreeing that this is what he should get, Ralphie wants her to think it’s ok to receive this gift. Albeit getting a C+, his teacher also doesn’t approve of getting a dangerous toy and writes on the bottom of his essay: “P.S. You’ll shoot your eye out!”

A recurring theme?

You’ll need to think twice about that.

Not a lamp; it’s a MAJOR AWARD

                                              

Later, Ralphie and his family visit Santa Claus at a mall and Ralphie asks for the Red Ryder BB gun to which Mr. Claus replies: “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid. Merry Christmas!” and receives a push, down a slide on his face, with his big ol’ boot.

“I want a rifle. :D”  “NO.” FAIL

                                             

When it comes down to the actual Christmas day, Ralphie and his brother frantically open their presents. Wrappings, and wrappings, and wrappings of paper later, Ralphie has not opened one gift containing the BB gun. With all hope seemingly down the drain, Ralphie is assured to have gone through yet another disappointing Christmas. Maybe next Christmas. That is until Ralphie’s eccentric dad tells Ralphie to look in the corner of the desk, hinting that Santa Claus left one more gift. An unsure, but eager Ralphie rips through the wrapping paper to unveil the very gift he had been longing for.

A kid’s dream has been fulfilled.

Dreams do come true if you believe

                                   

With the family celebrating one of America’s most beloved holidays, the film ends on a high note symbolizing togetherness, comfort, and surprise.

Worth watching?: A. B. S. O. L. U. T. E. L. Y. There is everything to love about a feel- good family flick that inspires families to come together. The voiceover narration is a brilliant technique that, incredibly, is not seen too often nowadays. The pacing of the film is on point and it transitions smoothly in narration. The acting is top notch as every character has a defined role. Execution is what makes this movie outstanding.

Remember, everyone, be sure to drink your ovaltine; never use the “F-dash-dash-dash” word, and have a safe Christmas and New Years!

I leave you with a parting gift: